Bloom Where You Are Planted

Last night, I shot straight up in bed and declared, "Little guy is going to be eleven when you're finished with your schooling!"

And then I had a "miniature" aneurysm, couldn't fall asleep for like twenty whole minutes (it takes me .003 seconds to fall asleep each and every single night---as in, if you approach me and ask, "You know how when you can't fall asleep?" no, I really don't know), and (probably) successfully made my sweet hubby feel even more pressure than the average medical student already feels 24/7.

In the light of day, I've had time to reflect.

What I keep hearing and coming back to from medical spouse's is the underlying assumption (I'm guilty of this myself) that life really begins when the one-, two-, or three-year fellowship is over. The problem, of course, with this idea is that it is not true.

So often, I feel discouraged when I hear how long the road ahead of us is. Call me naive (I've been through all of college dating a pre-med and he's now in his third year of medical school), but aren't we thinking of this the wrong way?

What happened to learning to be happy in every circumstance? Happiness does not equal complaining at every chance! Happiness does not mean dreading the years ahead! Happiness does not require that I throw enormous comments around that only weigh my husband down!

I look back on the past years, and (guess what!?) they weren't as bad as everyone was saying they were going to be. In fact, when I walk through the stress, what I look back on (other than the general feeling of 'I'd rather not go back there again') is the birth of my first child, taking a family walk, conversations around the dinner table, and that amazing beach vacation.

Something tells me that the next seven to ten years will not be any different.

...And not just something really, but God.

'Do not fear, for I am with you; do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.' Isaiah 41:10

And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love Him, to enable them to fulfill the purpose for which they are called. Romans 8:28

I want to be different. When people talk about how stressful medical lives are, I want to say, "What the heck are you talking about!? I am proud of my husband! We might not see each other too much, but when we do, it's great! We have a blast! We have a beautiful son, and God has blessed us tremendously."

I don't want to put my life on hold for the next decade. Really.

When I look back (in my mid-thirties) on all of this, this is what I want to remember:

1. JOY! I want my home to be filled--just positively brimming!--with it.
2. Gratitude that God blessed my husband with an exciting and fulfilling career.
3. Having a house full of little ones that I get to love on and play with and grow with all day, every day.
4. Building up my husband to my children when he's not around. Because (guess what!?), he's going to be! Who remembers what they did day-to-day when they were little, anyway? Not me! And if I speak well and build into my children the fact that their dad loves them and cherishes them, they will know it.
5. NOT complaining about a paycheck that is just as much (if not more!) than what most families make!

Dear So-gal of the future,

I am NOT naive. These are timeless truths--timeless goals. If you are feeling discouraged/angry/sad, please remember that life is taking place right now! Little ones are growing right now! You are a mother and a wife right now! What do you want to be remembered for? You can't put life on hold because of the season of life that you're in. Enjoy it. Bloom where you are planted.

Love,

So-gal of September 2011 (who happens to also be balancing a lot on her plate right now, too)

P.S. Even after the comment that you made last night, this was waiting on your desk for you this morning: