Hide-and-Seek And Funny Things

The toddler decided to play hide-and-seek with himself. No lie. If you listen, he's asking, "Where did *_____* go?" And then he's answering, "There he is!"

Funny Thing #1

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The toddler and I were browsing through clothes at Target. I had originally gone to find some cute St. Patrick's Day stuff in the dollar section. Really, Target? You deliver on every.other.occasion. but apparently not for the Irish. So, in order to feel like I didn't waste time/gas getting to Target, I decided to browse.

I was pushing the cart through a tight section, and we passed a fire extinguisher that was mounted with a metal clasp to the wall. I pushed my little Butch Cassidy past that darn thing in .5 seconds. I promise! But that was all the time he needed to undo the metal clasp and send the thing crashing to the floor. I half expected an explosion, and I half expected for Target employees to start running and shouting at us to leave. Thankfully, neither happened.

Immediately after it happened, I whisper-shouted (moms, you sooo know what I'm talking about--don't lie) through my teeth my toddler's name.

He knew. He knew he was in BIG trouble.

So what does my child start doing in the middle of Target?

Singing "Jesus Loves Me" at the top of his lungs until.we.left.

We went dashing past the greeting cards section with my child singing, "THEY AH WEAK UH HE IS STRONG!" accompanied by violent waving/clenching hand motions. We were proselytizing in Target, for real.

By the time we made it out to the car, I could only laugh. :)

Funny Thing #2

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Tonight, the toddler was hello-not-kidding-terrible-horrible-and-definitely-no-good. He got out of that bath, and he was not happy about it. So, to placate the non-stop screaming child, I started shouting, "Okay! Okay! Pirate book? You wanna' read the pirate book? Hey! Pirates? {and then--ahem--adopting my pirate voice, I quoted from his favorite book} Ahoy thar, matey! Be this the Spanish Main?" Nope. It didn't work. He kept right on screaming until I poured a cup of milk from the fridge, grabbed Llama Llama Red Pajama (Have you read the book? It was no coincidence I grabbed that one tonight.), and we got to rocking and reading in the rocking chair.

Just as I finished the book and baby llama was fast asleep and the toddler's eyelids were drooping (so were mine), I whispered, "The end. Okay, night-night, turn out the li--"

"Pirate book."

UGH.

You cannot promise your little boy that you're going to read his favorite pirate book, and not follow through on that.

So ahoy and avast, we sailed into that tale. And now (as it always is at the end of that book) my throat is sore. (I take my pirate voice verrrrry seriously.)