From One To Two

Of course no mother forgets that day.

I was twenty-three years old, I'd been married for all of one year and nine days, and I didn't have a clue what to do past giving birth.

And now here I am, two-and-a-half years later. I like to think I've got this parenting thing down--that I've got a handle on it. I might not be the Master Mommy Guru Of All Time, but we've got our lives, our schedules, our day-in and day-out stuff sorted. My house is even clean most of the time, and my toddler is even well behaved half of the time. Imagine that.

And yet.

I know everything is about to change: our lives, our schedules, our day-in and day-out stuff.

What it's going to look like, I have no idea. I've watched my friends who have two kiddos, and they don't seem to be losing their sanity. I know that while this time around will probably not be as life-altering and radical as the first, it will still be both life-altering and radical.

I find myself worrying. How will I handle the toddler on three-and-a-half hours of sleep? How will I snuggle and love on the teeny tiny and still make my toddler (and not to mention my hubby) feel loved and adored and cherished? Will I be as evil, when sleep-deprived, as I was the first time? What about my work schedule? If I have to get up at 5:30 AM now to get me and the toddler out the door and to work on time, what time will I have to get up between a newborn and breastfeeding? How will I go grocery shopping? What if the toddler is sick and we all have to go to the doctor and I have to sit in the nasty sick kids' side of the doctors' office with my newborn who isn't sick?

Okay. I'm psychotic. I know.

The truth is that schedules will be ironed out. Our lives will find some normalcy. And eventually, I will get a handle on things. The truth is that I have a wonderful husband and family to help me. I will be sleepy, but I will still make it into work and do my job well. And before you know it, I'll be back to lying to myself that I've got a handle on this whole parenting thing.

In the mean time, bear with me, okay? I'm soaking up my clean house, my organized schedule, and--of course--my favorite sidekick.