Less Than 10 Days!

That's right! It's officially less than ten days until Mr. Henry makes his arrival!!

Here are some of the things I'm feeling in this "waiting" stage right now:

1. Anxious for my mom to get here: The woman has to be me for several days! And I'm just going to be honest: Being me is cray cray under the best of circumstances. Getting up early. Packing lunches. Checking homework. Watering plants. Returning books to the library. Making breakfast--orange juice for Nathan, apple juice for Jack. You get the picture. I'm ready for my momma to get here, so I can start her intensive training on being Emily Ryan for a while! ;)

2. SO ready to not be pregnant anymore: The swelling. The weight gain. The contractions. None of my clothes fit. None of my shoes fit. I'm getting up to go pee four times every night. Like, I am soooooo over being pregnant.

3. Over-the-moon excited to meet Henry: It's so difficult to put into words what sort of deep love you have for your child, before you've ever even held him in your arms. I love Henry so much I would die for him in an instant if I had to. I can't wait to hold that little boy in my arms and weep over him and kiss him over and over. I just can't wait for that moment that he's no longer unseen under my belly, kicking and jabbing--but rather crying on my chest, curling into me, falling asleep. Oh goodness, I am ready to get all mushy gushy into full blown baby mode again.

4. Worrying about Jack: Will he feel ignored? Will he feel like he's no longer my precious baby!? He will always and forever be my precious, snuggly baby!! Will he act out? He's just starting at a new school today. What if there are too many changes at once!?

5. Worrying about Nathan: Will he feel invisible? He's already feeling like school is so long. Some days it practically feels like he's just home for dinner-bath-bed. And that's it! Will he feel like I don't have the time to get down on his level and listen to him and connect with him? Will he be jealous that Jack gets to spend more time with the baby?

6. Gratitude for three boys: I am so grateful to God for blessing me with three sons. I never did a single good thing in my life to deserve three precious boys.

7. Anxious for what the future will look like: How will I handle the sleep deprivation? How will I handle the initial pain from breastfeeding? How will I handle going to the gym in four months, carrying a diaper bag and a baby and Jack and my water bottle and my earbuds and my towel? What will church look like? I don't think I can make it through service and Sunday school! What will my work look like with a baby? What if I can't get him on a good nap schedule?

8. Fear of bleeding: I've had emergency bleeding with both of my other deliveries (discovered this go around that I have a low platelet count), and I'm assuming I'll have emergency bleeding with this delivery, too. But, it's still a bit scary. One moment, you're holding your baby. In the next moment, baby is out of your arms. They're always shoving pills down my throat and jabbing my thighs with needles. And then, I'm totally drugged and can barely open my eyes. Not exactly how you want to feel when you just want to snuggle with your newest addition. The things we do for our children!! ;)

9. Pleeeeease don't be born on September 11th.