Monday, November 21, 2011

The Book Demon

I'm afraid that I've passed on a curse to my poor child.

When I was 18 months old, I could sing my ABC's. One time, my mom was at a church function, and the pastor approached her and said, "I hear that this little one can sing her ABC's!" My mom prompted me to start singing. So I did, "A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I--"

And then something happened.

My mom puts it like this, "The alphabet demon crawled out."

"G, H, I--AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

The foundation at the church split. Glass shattered. Trees were uprooted. Nearby car alarms sounded (did they have car alarms in the eighties?).

The alphabet demon reared its ugly head, and my mother stared red-faced at her pastor and prayed really hard that an enormous hole would open up under her and her child who just scared the daylights out of a pastor by going from zero to sixty like someone in a straitjacket.

Yep.

Anyway, my son does not have an alphabet demon, but he most certainly has a book demon. I know I've said before how much he enjoys reading. One day a week, we go to the library and pick out new books. Well finally, last night, (I'm not lying, people), my husband and I had to hide the library books (they're behind the big couch cushions, if you don't believe me). It was simply becoming too much.

We will read him a book, and as soon as we say, "The en--"

"Again."

Over and over and over. That little "again" keeps popping up. We finally, around the fourth time typically, say, "No, that's enough. Pick a different book." Or we say, "No, that's enough. I have to go fix dinner."

And it happens.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Fists pound the bare floor. Windows shake. The glass break goes off on the alarm. The neighbors stop what they're doing. Dogs all through the neighborhood whimper in fear.

The book demon has reared its ugly head.

Do I know what to do about the book demon? No, not really. I'm thrilled to pieces that my son is nearly seventeen months old, and can sit and enjoy books for hours on end. And I've seen the benefits that reading has had on his little brain. He's now putting three words together, and every day uses words like "excavator," "airplane," and "faucet." But still. When that book demon comes out, I want to run far, far away and hide. ;)

What goes around, comes around--isn't that right, Momma?

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